18th-20th September – 1st Eden Park CAMRA Beer & Cider Festival 2014 (Beckenham, Kent) Preview

Enjoy !!

The Cider Blog

Address: Club Langley, 2 Hawksbrook Ln, Beckenham, Kent, BR3 3SR (Website)

Entry Price/Session times:

Thu 18th September: 11am-10pm (£3)
Fri 19th September: 11am-10pm (£3)
Sat 20th September: 11am-10pm (£3)

Concessions: Free entry for card carrying CAMRA members.

Tickets: Available on the door.

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You’ve attended a course – then what?

Have you ever been on a training course and then come back to the office and been expected to use that skill immediately, with maximum effect – I have.  I once went on a three day course with the expectation that I would build an interactive, in-house e-learning offering!  OK, so we know that’s  just not going to happen – you know me already!

How long should a new skill or behaviour take?
The answer is it depends on how much you use it. Let’s talk through what happens in 4 stages.

Stage 1 – The Learning

When learning something new, and especially if you’re really interested in the topic you will take in lots of information.  Your synapses in your brain will be firing away and making new  connections as you think about how you can use it

Stage 2 – The Reflecting
This stage takes place after the learning event has finished and you are on your own – normally your journey home.   Especially if excited about your new behaviour or skill you are likely to continue to think about how you are going to use it, what you are going to tell people, how you will share your knowledge and as Stage 1 the synapses make even more connections

 Stage 3 – In the workplace
 If you’ve organised to have a meeting with your line manager this will be great at keeping your ideas alive.  If you don’t, your synapses will quickly start to drop the connections ie. You start to forget.

Stage 4 – working life
If you start to embed your new skills and behaviours into your working life you will quickly speed up the level in which you can use them in an unconscious method

It’s like driving a car
1 – you have to mentally prepare yourself before starting the car, thinking in advance  to what you are going to do.  This is the slow process with actions carried out in a methodical way

2 –  you have to think through everything you do –remember changing gears and going down one by one.  By now you know what you need to do but still need to carry them out in a conscious method

3 – you have been driving a while now and stop thinking about what you need to do – it  just comes naturally – this is when you are comfortable with something and like driving, it’s natural for you to do so. This is called unconsciously competent.

The more you do something, the quicker the learning.   Also like driving, it’s good to get feedback from others to reaffirm that  what you are doing is right

Unfortunately for those that don’t work on their new skill or  behaviour it’s the naff saying of “if you don’t use it, you lose it”.

I wish you luck with embedding new skills and techniques.

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Feeling good as a working mum

Mums go back to work for a whole range of reasons.  Some of us are very career orientated, others do it because we enjoy the jobs we do and the company we work for, for some it’s the adult social interaction and for some, it’s we have to for the money.

So you are now back at work and you’re feeling great – Yes!  For those that really feel content, that’s great, yes really great.  Unfortunately for a number of women they think YES, it’s all falling into place and then, starting as a little niggle and building, EMOTIONAL CONSCIENCE  pays a big visit.  Minds start working overtime, are you doing the right thing, working, and then to cap it all, your child/children add to it by saying “why are you always working? You never spend any time with me”!

Interested in changing the way you feel?

Change happens through a process where you condition yourself to feel good by using reinforcement.  To help you on your journey I have provided some questions and exercises for you to do.  The aim of these is to evoke positive responses.  For this to work you need to be honest and open and only write what’s really true to you.   To really change the way you feel you need to revisit your answers/visuals you’ve produced on a frequent basis (daily to begin with) and take in what you are thinking and how you feel.  If, after time you feel different to a question, change your answer.

Your perception

  • List, how do you personally benefit from working?
    • Consider how it makes you feel, what difference does it make to you financially?
    • List,  how does your child benefit from childcare/after school clubs
      • What new experiences are they encountering? What are the long term benefits
      • List the fun times and the quality time you spend with your child/children, remembering what you did and how you felt

What others think

  • Get feedback from colleagues, manager, family about your working situation.  Remember to ask for positive feedback, otherwise people will assume you’re after the negative
  • Speak to your child/children about what they do at nursery/after school clubs, what do they enjoy? Pick a time where it’s a relaxed conversation and not a time when they’re pulling your emotional strings
  • Speak to your nursery/childminder/after school carers about your child/children, how involved do they get, whether they do enjoy themselves
  • Speak to your child about what they really enjoy doing when they’re with you.  What’s fun and special to them.

Things to do

  • For yourself, keep reviewing your answers and take in what you know is true in your heart and head,
  • For your children, reinforcement is key.  Words are quickly forgotten and whereas visuals can be a constant.
    • Make a visual picture reminding you and your child/children of your fun times.  Use pictures from magazines, family photos, coloured pens, be as creative as you like.  Stick this somewhere both you and your child can see on a daily basis.  Refer to it when you’re child says about you working.
    • Make a new visual each month.  It’s a changing world

Using the law of attraction, you get what you focus on so make today the day you focus on the positive, take in the good feeling you get from working and being a great mum.

I hope this helps.

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Value of Presentations

Preparation is key. Measureable results needs to be a must so that is great.

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Who Not What

Something so simple but all makes sense. Who not what is a key message I’ll take forward when working with business leaders. Thanks for the tip!

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ABC’s for Leaders – “A”

Love the list. Leaders are all this and much, much more.

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Pick yourself up and carry on

I’ve just read an article from Jayne Torvill about when they (her and Christopher Dean) went through hard times, and what they did to get themselves back on track. These tips are also true for people setting up their own businesses.  As  a business coach I work with clients to ensure they stay positive and focus on the right things.  I hope these tips are of help to you.

1. Don’t dwell on failure – focus on your next goal
As long as we are learning from our mistakes and can recognise what we would do next time, then no more time should be spend on failure. Striving forward with new skills and approaches will help you succeed in your next goal

2. It’s not just about picking yourself up – it’s about how you do it
You can tell who’s unhappy just by looking at them – their body language says it all. Moving forward is about walking tall, having energy and using your communication skills to their utmost – that’s great listening, questioning, rapport building and summarising skills.

3. At times it can be scary
Often the difficult things in life are scary, however they often turn out to be the best. Don’t be put off and take one step at a time. Have a completion schedule and feel good at each stage of achievement

4. Work out what makes your colleagues/clients/customers tick
You get more from people if you get to know them more rather than at a superficial level. What makes them tick? What are their concerns? What would make them happy? By delivering against their concerns will give you results and raised credibility

5. If you’re motivated for the right reasons, it’s easier to carry on when the going gets tough
The key here is being motivated in a way that will bring about positive results. This could be working so that you can support your family, or delivering against a project deadline and being part of a team. Whatever you do, the end result needs to leave you feeling good about yourself.

6. Forget perfection
Perfection is a really difficult thing to achieve. Many an hour can be spent beating yourself up. Firstly it’s important to really identify what is required – I sometimes use the bronze, silver, gold analogy and sometimes I picture a brick wall and think, if I took one or two bricks out, would it fall down. Be good to yourself and value what you do well.

I hope this helps.  Victoria of Coaching4Results



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